This is the 5th blog I've set up over the years. I just read thru all my blogs and found that it signifies different stages of my life throughout the past 10 yrs. The first one was set up in college, and I sounded so happy and carefree back then. That's probably because it was my happiest time of my life so far. The 2nd one was made for my internet communications class project during my junior year. Since I used my real name on my first two blogs, in order to be more discrete, I created the 3nd one. It was the time when I just came back to HK for work. I was ranting about work most of the time.
Then along came the 4th one. It was after my nasty breakup with my long-time college sweetheart. Hoping to hide from him, and yet still be able to do blogging, I used another alias. I was really upset and was writing quite a few entries about the depression I went thru. After a few months, he somehow found the blog, read it, and felt really guilty of what he did. He tried to get back together with me but eventually took off in a week. Apparently he came back to me not becoz of love, but becoz of guilt. I made the blog private and continued writing for a few more months but stopped. I got busy mingling and found myself another bf.
I broke up with this 2nd bf for a year now. I suddenly feel a bit upset tonite because he tried to contact me, yet I know via FB that he already have another gf. What is it with him? He looked so happy with the new girl, why bother sending me these msgs? What am I to him? I don't believe that exes could be friends. It's just too painful. Why don't they understand and leave me alone!
Today in the afternoon, I had a discussion with my colleagues. The things are so messed up in the world rite now. The tragic events of Japan these days are depressing. We wonder: is this the end of the world? If so, my colleague said she would ask her husband to buy her a Chanel handbag. Another one said she wanna travel. What do I want if this is the end of the world? I'm not sure, but surely I don't want to die alone.
Is getting to the end so bad? I still remember one of my fav. Japanese anime "Neon Genesis Evangelion" has a saying--"the beginning is the end is the beginning". It's a circle. Well, I don't know. Let's see.
All I wanted to say is, I got this 5th blog and titled it Clean Slate. That's because I wanted one. What's done is done. Bygones are bygones. Now cheers to new beginnings. I hope my blog will sound more cheerful as time goes by.
